On my fb page I shared the following image, which is a pretty damn nice way of phrasing it:
This is a man's response it received (not from any friend of mine):
"The problem with that post is that it makes it sound as if women aren't just as (and in most cases I have seen, more) shallow and materialistic as men. The "Friendzone" works both ways. Yes, men and women have different 'plumbing' and our mental algorithms can vary from slightly to polar opposite, yet in the end we are all human and have the same shitty faults. I think it's about time we stopped trying to figure out who is to blame or which gender is better. I think it's time we start focusing on what we can do to improve ourselves and through that improvement increase our chances of finding that special someone who's insanity matches our own."
Welcome to male privilege and patriarchy folks. If you just nodded to any of that post, that's a HUGE fucking problem.
My response on facebook:
"Unfortunately, your comment actually ignores the entire point and tries to shift the blame back onto women. The point is that men expect to be entitled to a woman's body regardless of how she feels. This is called rape culture. It's why the "friendzone" is so despised by men, a woman is a 'bitch' or 'shallow' just because she doesn't happen to want to drop her pants for every dude who thinks he deserves it because he made a pretense of treating her like a f**cking human being.
Let me be very clear: bringing male privilege to my page will not go well."
That's the short version and here's why agreeing to that post is THE problem. To be able to justify and/or ignore despicable behaviour simply because the majority agrees with you is the ESSENCE of privilege. "But I don't do those things!" you might say. Are you sure? What makes you feel discomfort? Are you being challenged? Would you have stood up and said, "Wait a minute, expecting her to conform to your idea is kinda fucked up and proves the whole thing to begin with."
If you can look me in the eye and say yes, I have and do confront people of my own identity to change this, then we're on the right track. If your response is like this person, "well what about THEM," you ARE the problem. If you're experiencing discomfort, GOOD. I'm not here to coddle your ego. Dig into that shit and get rid of bad programming. It's empowering to do so, for yourself AND others.
If you still think a "nice" guy earns sex because he didn't force someone, here's a enlightening post in comic format.
Change isn't easy. Growth isn't comfortable. Writing this is also about challenging ME to sit up, take notice and fucking do something about it. So what are YOU going to do today?